The Snow Flake and the Scarecrow
by Kiranohime Taichou
Summary: Lady Tsunade is playing match-maker and hates losing, Kakashi is being difficult, and monsters do come out to play. Kaka/OC, and possible more minor pairings. Re-write of "Complexity." I apologize to those who were attached, it just was not good enough for you guys. New chapters weekly, as long as my muse stays with me. Rated MA for language and possible citrus.
1. Chapter 1:A Wise Man Knows He's a Fool

*I do not own any of the characters, settings, or other misc details from Naruto, they belong to Masashi Kishimoto and this is written simply for pleasure. ^^

*I am taking some liberties with the character Kaguya Kimimaru with his story and age for the sake of my story. So no correcting, I know it's off. Lol

The mist kunoichi did not like out of country missions.

Her feet ached already and her mind was a-flutter with worries over her absence.

"Shikei No Hime," as her people knew her, traveled with her pack in the tree tops without hope of a break for camp.

This time she had been ordered to keep moving until she set her feet on her soon-to-be partner's door mat.

The upside was that she did love the forest; it just became a bit mind-numbing after the millionth tree at top speeds.

In times like this, when she could be alone in her own head space, she would let her mind wander a little outside of her mission and her purpose.

She was not particularly fond of leaving her Mizukage in the hands of others. She owed the woman too much to simply "trust that the Seven Swordsmen were as competent as advertised" as the Mizukage had put it before she began her usual lecture about how Shikei needed to loosen up and hit the bars.

Neither of which she would ever even consider.

Lechery and 'fun' had no place in her life.

She had to keep focus and direction.

Alcohol was weakening.

And men were an unnecessary inconvenience.

She had long since grown past silly things like crushes and boyfriends and they all seemed a bit... beneath her in their simplicity.

Seduction she could do. Though the pleasure she derived from it, she was sure had mostly to do with the thrill of the hunt, as she'd never had a mission where she'd had to follow through with a mark. The men who were best killed through those means were usually filthy of soul at the very least and just the thought that she would ever have laid with one of them made her want to sink her kunai into her own gut.

But this mission wasn't that simple: her partner was not a mark, but an accessory. Bait. A tool.

It was a little more comforting to think of it that way.

She was sure she could make this 'relationship' look convincing for the sake of her goal.

She was pretty sure at least.

Her stomach started knotting again.

She SO hated out of country missions. And it was going to be harder with partner that she didn't know to begin with. Harder to coordinate with some one that you knew so little about...

More stress flooded her stomach.

Thinking was not helping.

This mission sounded fairly simple though, she tried to reassure herself as she ran over the general plan again:

"Marry" and nin well-known enough to draw Itatchi and Kimimaru's attention, and then defeat them and bring them to justice. Go home and …

..And what?

Her foot almost missed its mark on that note.

This line of thought was not actually reassuring at all.

It was worse than fretting over working with a stranger.

The knot in her stomach doubled, but her brain refused to release the line of thought.

Her life's purpose had been to end those two men. And after years of un-sprung traps and inaccurate leads, the Mizukage and Hokage had devised this plan.

What would she do if this worked?

She had never counted that it would actually happen and her survive to question her purpose.

But with the two great nations involved, she had a weird nagging sensation in her stomach that this was going to go differently than she'd always assumed…

She refused to dwell on that thought any longer, she would worry about it later. For now she needed to work a little harder on not falling off her path. Soon would be the ferry and more foot travel.

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He was really beginning to hate the Fifth Hokage.

Tsunade used to be fun.

She'd come to the bars and have drinking contests with the nin.

She'd throw elaborate parties with crazy twists and tons of free sake.

But lately all she'd wanted to do was play match-maker.

She made one pairing suggestion at a party, and a couple months down the road it ends in marriage, and all of a sudden she'd found her life passion.

Now, Kakashi had never been one to draw lines with his friends, but this was it if he'd ever wanted one.

Competing for bed-partners against his friends was usually the only conflict he had in the category of 'romance' But this was something else all-together. Tsunade was meddling. Digging up all his skeletons and poking old wounds…

He hadn't had a moment's peace since she set her sights on him.

He couldn't even imagine what horrors she had in store for him this time as he walked to her office trying not to slow down to a complete stop, but definitely dragging his feet.

She could have him 'executed for his tardiness' after all. As she had so enthusiastically pointed out, last time.

She had set him up on three dates now. Each worse than the last.

The first had been… awkward did not even begin to cover that experience. Sakura had been coerced by Tsunade into the surprise date. Which made it that much more uncomfortable when he showed up at the restaurant and Sakura had already begun drinking in anticipation for a fun night. If it hadn't been that they were the only two allowed in the restaurant, he would have been sure there was no way he was supposed to be there for her. Thankfully after about 15 minutes of awkward conversation, they flagged Sai down to join them and had a decent time swapping mission stories. It was clear to Kakashi that Sai was who Sakura had been hoping for, though he didn't really mind, the evening actually ended pleasantly enough: his 'date' happily going home with Sai.

That poor man had no idea the ways he was already wrapped around the pink-haired kunoichi's finger.

The next date was a civilian. He didn't even remember her name the date had been so horrific. Tsunade had figured out he was more attracted to dark haired girls, (because apparently what had gone wrong with the first date was hair color…) and she '_found this girl just waiting to be plucked from the flower stand'_. She HAD to be related to the Yamanakas, he had decided. She was fantastically attractive, but her shrill voice and gossipy talk made him want to bite an explosive scroll. That and she clearly misunderstood how status was earned among shinobi, she was **transparently** enamored by his apparent 'fame'. It was common for civilians so he could forgive her, but it would have been too painful to eventually be feared by his significant other for finally having understood all the atrocities he committed to gain that 'fame'. Relationships with civilians wouldn't work for him. He'd known that for a long time. He told Tsunade after that that if she insisted on putting him through this, to never pair him with another civilian.

That led to the next, and, by far, worst of the three dates.

He was still getting drunken visits from Anko, and having to take her back home, and then flag her down again in the morning to re-affirm that they were not seeing each other and would not be.

He was actually a little sad for her that she was so unlikely to find the family she wanted so desperately.

He wondered idly if the curse mark was eating her sanity.

She had shown up to their date drunk. Tsunade hadn't even told him who to expect. And just like his first date, she went home, quite happily, with another man.

Though he was told later, by Genma (who had been the _lucky_ one to take her home), that she would not stop talking about Kakashi. Which had cheered the copy-nin minutely. Genma being a bit of a 'romantic' rival for him, it pleased him that Genma's evening had been ruined in such a way, even if Kakashi didn't actually want Anko.

He didn't want a woman at all.

He'd had occasional bed-warmers but nothing more permanent.

Had never even given it much consideration. He'd lost too many people close to him to want to make more emotional risks.

And his recently graduated students gave him fits enough for 3 wives with their close calls and late returns.

He had been happy with his messy little apartment and his "Romance" novels.

Now he noticed how empty it was to come home to his home void of life.

Now all he could think about was having someone waiting for him when he came home, to rub the ever- aching back he ignored. And maybe even run her fingers through her hair as she hummed something to him. Someone to warm his bed and his home every night…

And more importantly, maybe even his heart….

That brought all of his annoyance back to the surface like a rubber band snapping him in the eye.

That was the kind of thinking that was going to end him. He couldn't even focus while training any more.

He was glad Hokage had been keeping him around the village. He would probably be dead now for all the wandering his brain was doing if he'd had any more serious missions.

It was ALL that god-damned woman's fault.

Couldn't she understand that he was better for their nation this way? He had accepted it long ago.

His annoyance doubled as he reached the Hokage's office.

He nodded to the guards as he took the steps two at a time.

"Come in Kakashi" She said before he even reached the door.

She sounded perky and… sober.

Sober was rare for her, especially since she didn't sound hung-over either.

That was cause for concern. Something serious was up.

He tried to calm his irritation and suspicion as he entered and closed the door.

"Have a seat Kakashi-san" She said amiably.

She was NEVER amiable.

Okay sober was REALLY starting to concern him. It was eerie the way she grinned at him.

"You called for me? I'm sorry I was late." He said sardonically, trying to get some other emotion out of her. Angry would be less creepy than the smug grin on her face.

"Oh, no problem Kashi-san." She said with her grin growing more wicked as she pet-named him.

He was sure his concern was showing on his face, no longer able to completely keep his bluff. This was not good.

She picked up a folder and held it towards him.

"I have a mission that requires a shinobi of some renown. It's in and across a few foreign countries and includes an ally." She practically vibrated with triumph as the troublesome glint multiplied in her eyes.

Kakashi cautiously reached for the folder as if it were an animal that might bite him.

She snatched it back out of reach just before his hand latched on.

The smug grin returned ten-fold.

"I'm sorry but that's all the detail I can give to one who has not accepted the mission." She fished

That made it sound as intriguing as it was dangerous to accept this mission without further detail.

It was a dare.

Kakashi stood to pace and was amused as the Hokage's mood soured slightly at his hesitation.

He was hooked. It wouldn't kill her to have her gratification delayed a little.

Pacing back and forth a few times, his curiosity began to triumph over his concern.

He stopped mid-pace in front of her desk.

He looked at her thoughtfully.

There were very few reasons he could think of that she would be so vague.

Couldn't be an assassination. He could do those in his sleep so the partner would be a burden. Unless there were some interesting circumstances... but that was pretty unlikely considering the multiple locations.

And with moderate peace between the nations it could be an opportune time for a power strike... but even two of the best nin couldn't pull off a conquest alone..

And there were no recent missing nin of consequence that he knew of…

And the one's at large had proven impossible to seek out. They just turned up occasionally and eventually they'd pop up at the wrong place and wrong time and be caught. It would be difficult for even two competent shinobi to resolve that alone…

He would take this mission, he decided. It was better than another date. And some time away from his own thoughts could be life saving at this point.

But it was odd she didn't just order him to take this job.

"Why would you give me a choice?" He asked, becoming more than impatient to understand what was going on.

Her face contorted, as she likely formed a lie, "I want you to feel… like you had a choice." She said cryptically.

Maybe that meant it had to look like he had done this without her consent…

What was with this mission?

"Okay Hokage-sama, I'll bite, I'm in." He said defiantly.

She snorted as she handed him the folder. She clearly thought she had won somehow…

He flipped through the folder, resigned to whatever this nonsense turned out to be and found the information to be upsettingly stark.

It was like they had a coy woman put together the folder, which he found quite irritating.

She stared at him expectantly as if she were waiting for a question.

Again he felt baited.

There was a logistics page for packing, a bingo page mock-up, and basic mission timeline with lots of "appearances" listed, whatever that meant. And not many less were in front of daimyo and kages' families.

He was clearly missing some punch line here. Tsunade's face was twisting, as if his growing confusion was filling her with glee.

He turned to the bingo book page. On it was a small woman. Though, notably, _clearly_ well into adulthood. Her body was built for seduction, he decided, all vicious curves topped with just the right amount of femininity. She had long, loosely-curled mahogany hair, and an expensive-looking, formal, deep blue kimono. And a mask, covering the lower half of her face, that still left a small tattoo on the right side of her face: two bars indicating rank and nobility. There was little to the description. She was about 150 cm tall with golden-hazel eyes and had apparently caused some major massacres. Suspiciously there was no mention of how she did it, and she didn't seem armed in the picture…

Maybe a Kekkei Genkai?

Most kunoichi were either seductive or powerful, they rarely needed both. And she was obviously, abundantly graced in both… So she must have been bad news for plenty of people.

So this was an… assassination mission then. He traced his figure over her curves and thought of the waste it would be to take the life out of that body. Maybe he could work her for a while. Hell, she looked like she'd be fun to work into a submissive death.

He would probably have to request that his partner be female so that he would have an abundance of angles to work if necessary.

"So this is my mark." He stated confidently.

Tsunade spit the tea she'd been drinking everywhere as she began laughing hysterically.

Kakashi waited for her to finish, his annoyance snapping back into place.

"No no no," She waved her hands as she spoke breathlessly "Did you read the top of the page? You should know a little better than that. Mei is like a little sister to me." She scolded half seriously.

Kakashi tore the staple out to get to the top of the page, it read: "_Spring Breeze of the Hidden Mist"_

She'd hidden the name intentionally. Tsunade wanted him good and confused.

He looked at her suspiciously, raising an eyebrow in askance. This 'Hime' he'd heard a little about served Mei the Mizukage.

"Why is this page in here then?" He finally asked out of frustration. Tsunade, once again looked like she couldn't wait to answer.

He hadn't even considered that his partner would already be set, much less that it would be someone as infamous as he was. Tsunade had played down that detail to lull him into focusing on other elements of the mission.

Fuck! He had not come ready for a mental chess match.

So "Shikei no Hime" was to be his partner then.

This was going to be something he'd hate. He just knew it.

Though admittedly, he knew little about the actual woman, kunoichi of the mist were known to be tempestuous like the waters surrounding their country.

As if he needed more tempestuous people in his life.

Tsunade watched him with Naruto-like enthusiasm, bouncing around in her chair.

Kakashi rubbed the bridge of his nose as he waited for Tsunade to out this little bit of information he already saw coming.

"You could be a bit more enthusiastic, Kashi-san, this woman is going to be your partner and... your new wife!" She began cackling again.

*Not much of a cliff hanger, but had to break it somewhere, story is going to be a slower build, good foundation and all that noise. Hoping to post new chapter every Thursday or so. We'll see if my muse stays with me. Let me know what you think of this versus the old one if you've read it, may take it down soon.

*Also "Shikei no Hime" means Death's princess.


	2. Chapter2:Putting Fire Out with Dry Grass

*I do not own any of the characters, settings, or other misc details from Naruto, they belong to Masashi Kishimoto and this is written simply for pleasure. ^^

*Also, you should note I'm a sucker for feedback, so cheers Nevvy, I'm posting this chapter quite a bit earlier than planned. ^^

Kakashi could do nothing but gawk at the woman for a full minute.

"What." He sputtered, struggling to come up with any more intelligible feedback.

He began to open his mouth to ask and closed it again, looking a little like a koi fish..

He wasn't sure what he wanted to say first.

The turbulent combination of swears was rapidly elbowing its way to the fore-front of the list in his mind...

Surely this was just part of the mission, some silly little cover that they'd have to exude in public…

But then why did Tsunade look so pleased...

He had a sinking feeling it was worse than that.

He flipped the folder back open, the time table making some more sense but the point of the mission still not stated anywhere.

And the time table was long…

Kakashi began to panic.

"Oh go on, go home, have dinner, I'll be over later to explain more." She managed to get out before she started laughing again.

He found he couldn't even think to form any questions. It took everything he had not to start ripping into her verbally.

He was angry, but more than that, he was scared that this wasn't a mission at all but some elaborate scheme to get him married. _"For the unity of the two countries!"_ He could almost imagine Tsunade justifying it to him in her Naruto-esque manner.

_But she'd said there was more_. He thought, fiercely hoping that something in his life would get **more** complicated for a change.

The blonde witch behind the desk calmed momentarily, "Kakashi, I am your Hokage, I would not do anything that I thought would upset you long-term. Quit being such a martyr and go relax, I'll find you later to explain the rest of this mission." She said reassuringly.

He nodded at her with a grim look and left for the peace of his home where he could sort the thoughts and emotions trying to tear apart his carefully manufactured image of sanity.

Two distinct sides seemed to emerge in his brain as he argued internally: One trying to calm him down, and the other egging him into a fury that would not soon be forgotten.

It had been so long since he'd been in an actual relationship. He hadn't realized how much he'd been resisting the dates he was being sent on. He didn't want this and now that woman had made it a matter of the nation's security that he be wed to a woman he didn't know.

_Just a mission _he told himself repeatedly as he walked back to his apartment, trying not to let his irritation over being tricked into marriage spill out onto the town around him.

That woman couldn't even find someone to pair him with temporarily, and here she'd just married him off, in contract form, to some random kunoichi from the village hidden in the mist.

He opened the folder again and stared at the picture, wishing it could tell him more about the woman. Part of him hoped she was awful and ugly so it would be excusable when for him to hate her, but a much smaller quieter part of his brain was hoping in a different direction.

Which definitely increased the panic.

He tried to bury the newly budding 'hopeless romantic' and think about the situation more objectively.

This was going to be like some sort of hybrid work situation. And it would probably be more or less something that he could handle for a while.

He was very particular about who he worked with. This was probably going to be something he'd be pickier about.

Though he supposed his bingo profile wasn't really enough to judge him on so maybe she'd be pleasant enough company to make the mission tolerable.

Kakashi wandered in and out off shops, his mood bouncing between irritated and apprehensive. Maybe he'd take a nice long shower when he got home and then go see his two best friends.

Kotetsu and Gai would be able to help him loosen up…

And it was still a couple hours before sunset so he'd have time before Tsunade could come and relieve his over-stressed brain anyways… maybe a trip to the bar with the guys first?

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Shikei arrived in the leaf village just before sunset nearly depleted of chakra, hungry and in need of a nice soak in a hot springs. Or even a shower. She'd settle for a hot shower.

She impatiently approached the gate keepers who were pretending not to stare at her.

"Excuse me," She said in her sweetest voice, "Could you please show me to Kakashi-san's apartment? I'm here for a surprise visit." She explained warmly. _Might as well start with the mission now_.

Mizukage had told her they had only a week to convince the village that it made sense that they would elope. When Kira had realized she wasn't sure exactly how to do that, she opened her mouth to question Mai, who threw her hand up preemptively, _"Different than seduction, Lady Tsunade will help you understand when you get there"_ Mizukage had stated dismissively.

It worried her not knowing how to act this, but for the time being, some sweet and shy would have to do.

The guards seemed to fumble as they argued about what to do in hushed tones.

"Kakashi is more than capable of handling a threat, it's not like _she's_ going to hurt him." The older guard whispered to the younger, "I mean look at her: she doesn't even have a hitae-ate, maybe **we** should be warning **her **about **him**." He chuckled pleasantly.

"What about that mask?" The younger one whispered forcefully. He clearly thought their conversation was unheard by the mysterious women.

"Maybe she has a deformity, OR hey!" The old man whispered excitedly, "Maybe she's one of those noble family's virgin brides from the grass lands, I heard they have to cover their faces until they're wedded. I wonder what old Kakashi got himself into now." The old man chortled at a quieter volume.

The younger looked her up and down and visibly let his guard down.

_IDIOTS_. She thought so loudly they should have heard it. She would have to tell Tsunade-dono about that later.

She could have devastated this village in less than an hour, and here they were taking her at face value.

"I'll take you there." Said the young guard, more eagerly than should have come from someone just being so suspicious.

_This was who they put on the front gate to the Fire Nation's Hidden Village!? _

"Thank you so much." She returned with a bow, trying not to roll her eyes at how obvious her act was.

The guard tried to make light talk by asking her how she knew Kakashi, clearly not thinking she was a nin and avoiding the unspoken "no questions" rule in the hidden villages. Or _Maybe the leaf nin were just rude_ she wondered to herself.

She lied politely about meeting him in the water country a few months ago, luckily managing to look bashful enough to make the guard draw his own romantic conclusions and quit asking. She didn't want to miss-lie. She simply did not know enough about the mission yet.

After only a small amount of awkward conversation they came up to the back of an… _affordable looking_ apartment building.

It actually wasn't too far of a walk, thank goodness; at this point a rabbit's burrow would have looked inviting. She was certain she was going to collapse soon, and there was still so much to do this evening.

"Oh, hey Uzumaki." Said her escort to a spikey blond teenager, who seemed to be approaching the same stairs, "you going to see Kakashi-san too?"

"Yeah, WHO'S THAT!?" He said pointing at Shikei enthusiastically.

"_Ah so this is the Jinchuuriki of the leaf_." She thought with certainty, eying him suspisciously. He was most predominantly described to her as rude and blonde with whiskers on his face, said to get bolder as the fox climbed to the surface, but he was also known to be a power house of chakra and as unpredictable as wildfire in the Grasslands.

An awkward silence passed and she realized she's missed the guard's lack of introduction. Though she was certain from the intense evaluating gawk-fest her and the demon-child had just had, both men probably realized she was indeed a shinobi.

The guard looked at her, obviously alarmed he hadn't even taken her name down at the gate.

"I am an old friend of Kakashi-san's here for a surprise visit." She tried to keep her voice sounding pleasant even though she was nearing the point of just dropping her pack right there and curling up to sleep on top of it.

"I've never met you before!" He exclaimed a little suspiciously but with equal, unbound enthusiasm.

The guard seemed to have backed off with a concerned look on his face.

Shikei looked at the young, blonde-spiked man bashfully, twisting her kimono a little nervously in her hands, "We met a few months ago in the water country, we've been exchanging letters." She finished with a shy smile.

Naruto's face abandoned it's suspicious glare and adapted a bright grin.

Men were too easy.

"It's okay, I'll take her from here." Naruto said with a smile and a wave to the guard.

The guard nodded cautiously and seemed to consider Shikei again.

She giggled and blushed and covered her masked-mouth so that he would deem her harmless and leave. Soon she would not be able to keep up the act, she'd just pass out.

The guard looked at Naruto, who laughed and waved a hand dismissively. At that the guard smiled and waved. Obviously reassured he hadn't just let a monster in the front gate.

They took the stairs as the teenager chattered about the weather lately, apparently she'd made it in right before some big storm was expected to hit.

When they got to the top she set her pack down next to the door and turned around to face Naruto. They both knew Kakashi wasn't in the apartment, there was no chakra present.

"So a mask for you? Kakashi-sensei wears one too. He NEVER takes his off. He sleeps in it and swims in it, we've even tried to trick him before." He paused as his face contorted in thought. "So I've never seen his whole face. Even though we've been on... like a million missions together. Hey! Have you guys ever seen each other without your masks?" He paused to lick his lips. "Why do you even wear a mask? I bet you're really pretty under there…" He seemed to space off a little.

Shikei took that moment to try to gather basic info about the location and noticed a tall masked man looking up at them lazily from the ground beneath the porch. The silver hair and 2/3rds of his face being covered convinced her that this was the man she'd been sent to meet. He smelled of earth and warm pine forests... and sake. She hoped the latter was not permanent.

He did not seem nearly as unattractive as Mizukage had promised he would be.

She would have to notify her master later that her definition of unattractive probably needed to be readjusted.

After a few long seconds of obviously assessing each other, Kakashi turned his attention abruptly onto the teenager with an irritated expression.

She'd forgotten she wasn't alone.

She must have been lower in chakra than she thought, she never let her guard down that far…

She tuned back into the blonde teen's blathering to hear: "-really fantastic if you'd just stop being so shy with that mask!"

She looked back at him just in time to see him walking at her with focused intent, his arms outstretched to what purpose she couldn't be sure. She adjusted minutely into a defense position, preparing for whatever this boy intended...

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Kakashi walked into the little alcove of his apartment pleasantly buzzed from his little break at the bar and a pretty serious shot succession with Gai. Luckily he could metabolize enough of it with his chakra to leave him buzzed and not stumbling-drunk.

He noticed an unfamiliar and wonderfully feminine scent. He looked up to his porch on the second floor and noticed a slightly familiar, mahogany-crowned, blue-kimono-ed female form. And… Naruto, clearly babbling nonsense.

Intelligent eyes regarded him warmly from her half-masked face. She looked beat. He was suddenly glad that he had stopped by the bar and let off some steam.

Though, then all gladness faded as his stomach growled ferociously and he realized that he needed more groceries. He didn't really have anything he felt comfortable feeding his unexpected guest; those leftovers he'd been thinking about earlier could probably bite back by now, and he wouldn't risk someone else's health.

It just meant he'd have to go back out soon.

His stomach rejoiced audibly at the idea.

He turned his attention back to the woman at his door…

He found himself slightly less annoyed looking at the woman in person now. Though now out of nowhere he was feeling nervous.

That was when he realized Naruto was doing something stupid, **shockingly**.

The kid seemed to be launching himself at Shikei's face, arms out-stretched like a small child.

Kakashi forced himself to hurry up the stairs, he too wanted to know what was under her mask, but he was sure her defensive pose meant Naruto wasn't going to get it for them that easily.

He found it a little amusing, in the back of his brain, as he considered that: to civilians, it would look like Naruto had cornered the petite woman, but to any nin, it looked like Naruto was about to get his ass handed to him. But as much as he might deserve it for multiple reasons, Kakashi couldn't let a fellow leaf nin get murdered on his front porch.

Right as he reached the top stair he saw a swift motion from Shikei that landed Naruto on his back, flailing like an upside-down beetle.

He quickly grabbed Naruto by the ankle and snagged him away from the 'damsel in distress' while giving her an apologetic smile.

Naruto jumped up in a fury and began shouting "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM AND WHERE YOU ARE LADY!?"

Shikei looked at him inquisitively as if she didn't have any idea what he was referring too.

Naruto's agitation ratcheted up a few dozen degrees. "Shishou! You should not bring these _night workers_ into our village! They dirty our pure air! AND YOU!" Naruto turned back to Shikei, "YOU'RE KIND DON'T BELONG HERE! I SHOULD-"

Kakashi smacked Naruto in the back of the head to shut him up before anything even MORE idiotic managed to fall out.

Shikei's body seemed to recoil from the insult as if she'd been slapped, though her face revealed little except for the rage her eyes betrayed.

Naruto looked up at Kakashi with a 'what did you do that for' kind of look.

"You IDIOT." Kakashi ground out as he found his irritation again. "This is the same kunoichi referred to as The Spring Breeze of the Hidden Mist." Kakashi knew Naruto wouldn't fully understand the implications of that statement, but he knew that Naruto did know Shikei's reputation with her people as just and pure. She was known to be the silent right hand of Mizukage.

Naruto seemed to mull that over for a moment while Kakashi looked apologetically again at Shikei.

"I'm sorry my lady, he just forgets himself. Often." Kakashi glared at Naruto. "This is one of my past students. He meant no offense though if you would like to exact a punishment for his dishonor, I would take it on myself for not having taught him better." _And letting him studying under Ero-Sennin for so long_, he added to himself.

The powerful kunoichi relaxed a little but still regarded Naruto with clear offense.

"That is not necessary. I was warned of this one's… way with words. Though, I do hope that he takes something of a lesson from this. I am kinder than some of my fellow kunoichi and I know more than a few who would have exacted an immediate punishment for such a foul accusation."

Naruto blushed a little, which seemed to soften Shikei's anger a little more. "I'm sorry, lady." He said very sincerely, then he turned a mischievous grin on his old teacher, "It's rare the old man here gets quality company." Naruto chortled to himself at his insult and implication.

Kakashi winced at the use of one of his least favorite adjectives. He found that he was actually a little concerned that Shikei might think him old and perverted.

Kakashi gave an exasperated sigh, already tired of interacting with Naruto and dealing with his ways of complicating simple things.

Shikei let out a peel of songbird laughter at that, and Kakashi found himself completely dumbfounded by the beauty of the noise.

He stared at her face with his mildly sake-fried brain wondering how many facets this woman actually had.

"Well it is very nice to meet you Naruto. You may call me Shikei-taichou." She said cheerily. "But the hour grows late for us old ones and we will probably need to retire soon."

Kakashi grinned. Clearly she had decided Naruto's adjective was not to be taken seriously for whatever reason. Kakashi looked back at her, trying to decide if she was indeed that close to his age. He almost missed how exhausted she looked. She must have traveled through the night. And they still had several meetings this evening…

"Okay Naruto, I know why she is here, why are you?" He said impatiently, suddenly feeling the need to get into his apartment and away from everything except the exhausted woman before him.

"Well I was just wondering if you'd seen Sakura, our team has a mission tomorrow and I haven't seen her in like two days. Sai either, but earlier I just walked into his apartment, like I always do, and he had a cow about me just coming right in. He was yelling about privacy, since when does Sai even know that word?"

Kakashi chuckled. He guessed he shouldn't have been so surprised that Naruto had somehow missed that his team mates were seeing-each other. "I wouldn't worry about it. Sakura is never late." He said vaguely.

"You're going to go all 'sage vague' on me, huh? You know something! I can tell!" Naruto pointed in his face accusingly.

When Kakashi made a hurt face and feigned innocence Naruto's face became annoyed and then calculative.

"Fine old man." He grinned devilishly. "Hey Taichou," Naruto looked at Shikei seriously, "watch my master's hands," Naruto said wiggling his hands up towards his chest. Kakashi swung and Naruto moved just in time to miss the contact. Naruto continued, ignoring common sense and survival instinct alike, "He might want to credit my other sensei for my rash conclusions, but he's known around town for his 'ninja hands'." Naruto said wiggling his eyebrows suggestively and then took off down the stairs so that Kakashi's chakra-packed fist missed him a second time.

Shikei had a contemplative look on her face as Kakashi looked back at her apologetically.

He decided to just get them into the apartment instead of trying to explain away Naruto's inappropriate insinuations.

Kakashi could sense the fatigue rolling off her like a fog and it made him feel a little sleepy in his buzzed state.

He slipped his sandals off quickly as he made an open gesture to the small cluttered apartment. "I guess this is it. I wasn't expecting you so soon so it's not exactly the cleanest." He turned back in time to notice how her ample bosom was jostled by her bowing to apologize.

Kakashi's brain went blank and his pants shrank a couple sizes. _Wha…_ _Why was she apologizing? _His brain fogged over as she lifted just her face and her fall-golden eyes popped back open, full of remorse.

"I'm sorry I arrived unexpected. Mizukage ordered that I travel as expediently as possible. I had expected to be here later in the evening but was pleasantly un-hassled. If you would like I could stay elsewhere to give you time?"

He had the strangest impression that she didn't want to leave. Though for exhausted as she looked, she probably wouldn't make it to another place to stay. Not that he had any intentions of sending her away. Tsunade would kill him. And he really didn't want her to be out in public without him, for some reason he couldn't really pin point.

Probably because his lecherous friends were likely to hit on her and then he'd have to do something about it for the sake of their cover.

"No, of course not." He tried to apologize back for making her feel unwelcome. "I just wanted you to know I was going to prepare better for you. And I will amend that, but this is what we have 'til then." He chuckled a little trying to ease her formality.

He looked at the little skin exposed of her shoulder, red and bruising, and realized her pack must have been heavy, and again he felt like a poor host. "So you can set your pack anywhere you'd like, the bedroom is over there, bathroom is there, kitchen is there." He said gesturing generally to closed doors.

"Ok, thank you."She said in a warm, but meek tone.

Kakashi was surprised by her gentleness.

She slid the pack down off her back and set it next to the closet door so she could remove her shoes.

Kakashi tried to look away but found himself oddly drawn to admiring the shapely form beside him.

She nearly toppled over trying to unlace her strange shoes.

"Um.." He said, not really sure what he was going to say before his mouth opened.

She stood up to listen to what he was going to say.

_What was I going to say?_ He wondered. _Oh! Great idea._ "Would you like to sit down to do that? I've had travels like that. I'm surprised you can bend over without falling" _especially with that rack_, he added to himself while trying not to hurt her pride.

She nodded drearily as she walked over and lowered herself into his favorite reading chair. The way her kimono fluttered reminded him of a butterfly nestling into a flower. With the springs long worn out of the chair's support she seemed to sink into it.

It made her seem much smaller and a bit frail.

She leaned awkwardly trying to get into a position to reach her foot.

Kakashi found himself striding over to her and the, kneeling in front of her to what end he wasn't entirely sure. His brain was kind of on its own auto-pilot. He captured her foot gently "Would you allow me the honor? Please, I'd like to try and make up for you having to suffer Naruto's company earlier."

She considered it and then nodded as she regarded him in a surprised and maybe slightly suspicious manner.

He set her foot gently on his thigh and thought absently that her toes were adorable. He was unsure where to look for the tie until she unexpectedly slid her leg out of the slit in the front of her kimono, revealing her leg up to her mid thigh. Kakashi felt his slightly buzzed brain sputter a little as he tried not to imagine anything involving revealing more of her.

He slowly started to untie the bow just below the back of her knee. He smiled up at her warmly and caught a very predatorial gaze grading him intensely from a slightly flushed face.

Which made it a lot harder for his brain to stay out of the "carry-her-to-the-bed-and-cover-her-with-yourself" area.

_Making conversation would help_, he decided starkly, looking down at perfect ivory skin stretched over tight muscle. He looked back up at her only to notice that she seemed to be drifting to sleep, leaning a little towards one arm of the chair.

He decided he needed to remove her other shoe too, _she _had_ given him permission and uncovered most of her leg herself_, he justified internally.

She shifted in her sleep crossing her shoed leg over the bare one so that he didn't even have to uncover it. Her kimono was split damn near all the way to the apex of her legs.

Kakashi felt a little light-headed as he gently and unobtrusively removed the other shoe.

He tossed both of the shoes aside and found he was having a hard time getting up. Her supporting foot was on his lap, but it didn't weigh enough to trap him, it was his mind kept flashing him ideas of what to do with the ivory pillars stretched before him.

The sake was hitting his brain in a bad way, he decided that had to be what all this scattered nonsense was about. It had been a while since his last tryst and he was sorely regretting having not 'tamed his beast' before he'd taken this mission.

Out of sheer terror of what he was going to find his traitorous limbs doing next he moved her foot off his lap towards the floor, but before he could set it down with the weight of her gorgeously muscled legs she unconsciously pulled them both into the seat with her.

Kakashi stood, feeling the need to have his pants situation under control before she popped those intuitive eyes back open and thought he was getting any ideas.

He stepped quietly around the chair but found himself stopping to stare at her from a different angle.

With her eyes closed, all the violence her demeanor had seemed to promise melted away. She looked warm and soft. She looked... almost fragile lying there in a small ball, her hair tangled all around her, cheeks, or at least what he could see of them, slightly flushed, like she had just come in from playing in the cold… Some small part of his brain demanded that he carry her to the safety of his bedroom and guard her as she sought the rest she so desperately needed…

It was true he was a possessive person, but he felt odd feeling so strongly about someone he just met. It probably confused his emotions that he knew he was supposed to treat this woman as a mate.

He felt the out of place desire to touch her soft-looking tousled hair… then he noticed how her breasts seemed to be trying to escape her kimono, and seemed closer to winning the battle than not.

He rolled his eyes at himself and wandered into the kitchen, choosing to ignore his pants for a bit longer. This was probably going to be an on-going problem now.

Part of him was even more irritated with Tsunade for having found a woman who seemed to appeal to him in so many ways.

Maybe she had drugged him.

He searched for something to make for the kunoichi to eat when she woke and realized there wasn't much left in his kitchen, other than some probably deadly leftovers in the fridge and a few staples in the cabinet.

Great, so he was going to need to go to the store before he did anything else.

Kakashi thought hard of who he could get to stay here in case Shikei woke up.

Kotetsu was… too lustful. And she'd been harassed enough by strangers for the day even with just Naruto.

Gai... would probably do something weird in an attempt to make friends and scare her.

Naruto? Not a chance. He'd probably try and take her mask off while she slept. And something about the idea of Naruto seeing her face, against her will, before he did, irritated him.

Genma? Yeah that wasn't going to fucking happen with any girl that Kakashi was supposed to be in a relationship with.

On second thought, most of the guys sounded like a bad idea. If he was having trouble letting her rest, most of the rest of them had even less self-control. And she needed her sleep.

Kakashi tried to pretend he wasn't already feeling a little protective of the woman passed out in his favorite chair.

Maybe Sakura, but she'd be nosey. At least with him, if not with Shikei too. Okay…

It was going to take a while to get them there too...

He finally settled on Pakkun. _A talking dog should be reasonably non-threatening_, he decided. Plus he'd just be fast at the store. He'd have to be if he was going to have her fed before Tsunade got there, whenever she was planning on showing. Which, knowing her, would be pretty late.

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Shikei flopped into the chair in a way she felt was rather graceless. But he didn't seem to mind.

It was pleasantly soft but she couldn't reach her feet in the position she was in. Or anywhere near them. She squirmed awkwardly until Kakashi, who had somehow appeared kneeling in front of her, captured her foot.

"Would you allow me the honor? Please, I'd like to try and make up for you having to suffer Naruto's company earlier." He seemed friendly enough.

And squirming had sucked out the rest of her resistance and her energy for that matter.

She nodded, a little surprised that he would want to touch her feet, they were probably filthy from travel. She was too tired to be embarrassed as she noticed he was trying to find a polite way to find the beginning of the ties on her shoes.

Curious to see how he would react, and possibly out of some exhaustion-induced insanity, she slid her leg out of her kimono and couldn't find it in herself to care how much of her bare leg was exposed.

Some part of her, deep down, was hungry. But it was not any hunger she'd known before.

Kakashi's heart rate picked up audibly with his breathing as she began to drift off to sleep.

In her dream, Shikei was still that strange type of hungry. She was still sitting in the chair in Kakashi's living room that smelled like him, only she was awake and he was laying sweet kisses on her feet at a agonizingly slow pace traveling up her leg…

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